Learning To Let Go

Hello everyone! In today’s blog I want to talk about how I’m learning when it’s time to let go of someone.

What do I mean by this?

Well, I don’t only mean understanding when somebody is not a good fit in my life or even feeling that we don’t serve any purpose to each other and decide to no longer speak. That’s only the first part of letting go.

What I mean is, the bigger part, for me, when I’m truly ready to let go of someone (no matter what the reason—again, it doesn’t have to be shady or from a place of animosity), that means letting go of their contact, social media, old texts, and yeah, even photos.

That might seem excessive to some people. That’s ok! It’s not a method that works for everyone. Truly, it was something I never thought I could even be capable of.

The thing with me is, I dwell on situations and people. Even if, as stated before we no longer talk anyway or we’re just no longer contributing to the existence of one another. Because of this, and also because of advice from people who do similar things, the best choice for me is letting go of every aspect of that person.

What good is it really going to do for me to keep messages, photos, etc. with a person that I no longer talk to and/or have had a falling out with? The answer is none. Especially if it’s looking like there is no chance I’ll ever talk to them again.

Of course, I don’t just do it on a whim. I make sure to check in with myself and understand why I’m holding onto parts of this person and if it’s impacting my life in a negative or positive way. If it’s been quite some time and I’m still dwelling and the situation has not changed, then it’s time that I make a change myself.

The process is hard! It’s a little uncomfortable (especially if I was close with the person once) to get rid of these memories. Especially if I thought that I’d make so many more with that person. Still, at the end of the day, it’s worth it. It feels better and actually does manage to bring a little peace to my mind.

Because I did finally do it. I finally got rid of the parts of some people that I couldn’t bring myself to let go of. While in the moment it felt a little sad, after it was gone, it felt like a weight was off of my shoulders.

At this point, I have to reserve my energy for people who are going to match mine. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I want people to do that with me too! If I’m not giving someone what they personally need and there’s no good way to resolve it, I’m fine with that person needing to move on from me.

If you takeaway anything from this I want it to be that we’re all on our own journeys and trying to get a feel for what we will and won’t accept. Don’t be afraid to reflect on that. Life is short! Try to live authentically and in a way that’s going to suit your needs and make you as happy as possible.

Published by gcalavano

I am a 24 year old who uses the following pronouns: she/her/they/them. I am queer and mentally ill and I’m just trying to live and figure out how to remain true to myself but also grow as I go!

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